Time for the Playoffs! Knicks vs. Celtics Breakdown.

For the first time in a long, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG  time, the Knicks are favored to win a playoff series! (edit: I originally had the following sentence: "They haven't won a playoff game since Vince Carter wasn't old and fat and was on the Raptors." Which is totally wrong, since they won the post-fire extinguisher game against the Heat last year. Conclusion? I'm an idiot).  They play the Boston Celtics, and game one is tomorrow, Saturday, at 3:30 p.m. Let's break this series down.

Part of a well-balanced breakfast

Point Guard: The Celtics will play this series without Rajon Rondo, who suffered an ACL tear earlier this season, so it comes down to Raymond Felton against Avery Bradley. Both players have the capability to make huge differences for their respective teams in this series. If Felton can play up to his season averages (14 ppg, 5.5 assists on 41% from the field) then he will be a huge help to the Knicks. He's only played nine career playoff games (none with the Knicks), and has been adequate, averaging around 11 points and 5 assists, slightly below his regular season career averages. 

Neither will play, but it's a cool pic

Unfortunately for Raymond, he's going up against one of the most annoying players to ever play the game in Avery Bradley. Bradley is a high school coach's dream and an opponent's nightmare (cliche alert), with his relentless press from the opening tip. Defense is where he can help propel the Celtics, as he is a below average/forgettable offensive player, likely due to the fact that he expends all his energy hounding players on the defensive side of the ball for 90 feet. 

Metaphor time: Picture a seesaw with two children of the same weight on either side, teetering back and forth, unsure of which way it will tip. That's this matchup at the moment; it could go either way.

Edge: Even

Shooting Guard: With Pablo Prigioni most likely out for at least game one due to a sprained ankle, it looks like this matchup will be Paul Pierce against Iman Shumpert. While it may feel like the 35-year-old Pierce is on his last legs, he has actually had a very solid season (18.6 ppg, 6 rebounds, 45% from the field), with little to no regression compared to the last few years. He's been your basic Paul Pierce this year against the Knicks, averaging 21 ppg on about 46% shooting. It doesn't matter how old Pierce gets, you can never count him out against the Knicks; he seems to really take pride in ripping the beating heart from my chest, eating it in front of me and then hopping onto his unnecessary wheelchair and wheeling away while laughing gleefully. 

Back in the game seconds later

He'll be dealing with Shumpert, who started off slowly this year when he came back from that torn ACL, but has gotten progressively better as the season has gone on. And even better, Shump has made a huge jump (I'd like to thank Walt Clyde for inspiring me to rhyme) this year in his three point shooting (40% this year, up from 30% last year). With the way the Knicks play offense (give the ball to Melo or J.R. and then spread out for potential open three pointers), Shumpert's ascension to above average three point shooter has been a huge plus for the Knicks. And, lately he's looked pretty darn spry on defense, with his knee appearing strong enough to withstand the quick footedness he displayed throughout his rookie season. 

Pierce gets the edge here, but only because he's one of the best players ever and Shump is still just a rook (even though he really isn't). 

Edge: Celtics

Small Forward: Chris Copeland has really weaseled his way into the Knicks rotation this year, with his real time slow motion offense. Seriously, he looks like he's moving in slow motion every time he drives and yet the man knows how to put a basketball inside of a basketball hoop -- in this season's last three regular season games, he scored 20, 32 and 33 points respectively. Meanwhile, the Celtics have Jeff Green, who, despite averaging only 13 points a game this season, is potentially their most deadly weapon on offense in this series -- he scored 43 points in a two-point loss to the Heat this year, and my general rule is that anyone who scores more than 40 points against LeBron James has the potential to do similar things to the Knicks. Cope has the edge in the "who looks more like Brittney Griner" competition, but unfortunately this is a basketball game.

Edge: Celtics

True Love

Power Forward: Brandon Bass is a pretty solid NBA player. But the Knicks have Carmelo Anthony. 

Edge: Knicks

Center: This is a little uncertain. Tyson has been saying all the right things: "I'm 100%," "I feel great and ready to go," "This is the best I've felt in a long time," "It was a blessing in disguise that I was able to get that time off. I'm going to have fresh legs throughout the playoffs and I'm excited about this long run we're about to endure."

It sounds AWESOME. But Tyson didn't look quite "Tyson" enough when he came back for that brief period recently, wearing a black muscle shirt underneath his jersey. Hopefully he doesn't need that muscle shirt anymore, because his bare shoulders are so much more intimidating than fabric. One the other end, Garnett is ALSO coming back from injuries. Garnett, like Pierce, is an all-time great who cannot be underestimated. He still has the potential to be a really solid offensive player -- both in the post and from mid-range. Both are ridiculously physical players, so they should bring back a little of that classic toughness that the NBA has fought so hard to eradicate. Which may, of course, lead to one of them getting re-innjured. Not to be a homer, but PLEASE GOD LET IT BE GARNETT AND NOT TYSON.

Edge: Even/Uncertain at the moment.

Bench: The edge goes to the Knicks here, heavily. They have J.R. "I'm about to make so much fucking money this offseason" Smith, who has been OUTSTANDING this season -- especially in the last few months, as he's begun driving to the hoop instead of settling for classic J.R. Smith long two-pointers. Jason Kidd is the Knicks other coach. Steve Novak has potential to be a game-changer every single game if he can just get a few good, open looks. If Kenyon Martin's ankle holds up then he should be just as fantastic as he was when he first got here last month. Marcus Camby probably won't play, but he brings that 1999 finals run nostalgia. The Celtics, meanwhile, have Jason "I suck now" Terry and a bunch of other guys that probably won't have much of an impact. 

Edge: Knicks, by a wide margin.

Dreamy

Coach: Coaching in the NBA is a funny thing. For years, Celtics fans yearned for Doc Rivers to be fired -- then, the original big three happened, and they won a championship. Now, he's one of the most respected coaches in the league. One thing I've noticed is that Rivers is tremendous at drawing up plays for one specific possession near the ends of games. Almost every time he picks up that clipboard in the huddle, the ensuing possession ends in a basket. So let's try not to stop play late in close games, guys. 

Mike Woodson has already taken his place as one of the top coaches in Knicks history by coaching them out of their 10-year funk. He somehow got through to J.R. Smith, and let's be honest, that's all that really matters. Both of these guys are solid coaches.

Edge: Even

Prediction: Knicks in 5. 

Even though the "edge" count is pretty damn even, the Knicks get the most important edge, and that is the "who will win the series?" edge. Melo has officially entered his prime, and is so hungry he could eat at Arby's (if you don't' get it then you don't watch enough Simpsons). He may also potentially eat Honey Nut Cheerios on a given night if La La is in the right mood. The Knicks depth far outweighs the Celtics depth, too. The Knicks will win, but the Celtics won't wilt and die for two reasons: 1) they aren't a fucking flower. 2) They are a team of pride, and Garnett and Pierce alone will will (two wills in a row, awesome) them to at least one victory, and possibly two. But most likely one.

Let's go Knicks!